March 2012
80 posts
February 2012
181 posts
How I'd Like the Next Generation's School Days to...
Teacher: Crookshanks! Voldemort! Please could you get off that desk and sit down? OK, Merlin, can you hand out the tests for me?
Girl 1: What did I get on mine?
Girl 2: Spoilers!
Teacher: I heard that, River.
Girl 1: But I'm really worried, I think I got question 14b wrong...
Teacher: Actually, Hermione, you got 112%.
*****
Boy 1: I don't understand question six.
Boy 2: Me neither, but when the teacher walked past, I noticed her breathing rate pick up slightly when my pen was over Option D, so I put that.
Boy 1: I suppose it's your name...
Boy 2: My parents like me to make deductions, yes.
Boy 1: It's alright for you, Sherlock. Mine like me to get bad marks - apparently it fits with the name Neville.
*****
Teacher: Fred, will you collect the papers back in?
Boy 3: I'm not Fred, I'm George.
Teacher: Oh for goodness' sake, you're not even identical!
Boy 3: One of these days...
Boy 4: When we're running our joke shop...
Boy 3: We'll invent disguises...
Boy 4: And then you'll see.
*****
Teacher: That's the end of the lesson.
Boy 5: *Jumps out of window* Dobby... Dobby is free!
Girl 3: Dobby, you bad, bad boy! Students is not meant to be freed until the bell rings.
Teacher: It's OK, Winky, you can go too...
I wish everyone on Tumblr could pitch in like $5,...
epic-humor:
…Can we?
1 tag
Not that Graves is big enough for people to start caring, but I’ve got like 1/3 of the bass line to Jack’s Smirking Revenge written. Prog metal fills in deathcore songs for the win.
“Open this Pitt up”
– Surgeon operating on Brad Pitt (via ineedtogetpaid)
ablackveilbridesblog:
In today’s world, a man wearing makeup dressed all in black singing “Hear my voice, remind you not to bleed, I’m here” is a satanist, while a woman wearing almost nothing and saying “you a stupid hoe” over and over again is a role model.
Anonymous asked: 14, 20, 36, 57, 86, 91
These are great! Ask moi some to keep me occupied?...
1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
5: Do you like to use post-it notes?
6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
8: Do you have freckles?
9: Do you always smile for pictures?
10: What is your biggest pet peeve?
11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
12: Have you ever peed in the woods?
13: What about pooped in the woods?
14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?
16: How many people have you slept with this week?
17: What size is your bed?
18: What is your Song of the week?
19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
20: Do you still watch cartoons?
21: Whats your least favorite movie?
22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
23: What do you drink with dinner?
24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
25: What is your favorite food?
26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?
28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
31: Can you change the oil on a car?
32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
33: Ever ran out of gas?
34: Favorite kind of sandwich?
35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?
36: What is your usual bedtime?
37: Are you lazy?
38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?
40: How many languages can you speak?
41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
43: Are you stubborn?
44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
45: Ever watch soap operas?
46: Are you afraid of heights?
47: Do you sing in the car?
48: Do you sing in the shower?
49: Do you dance in the car?
50: Ever used a gun?
51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?
53: Is Christmas stressful?
54: Ever eat a pierogi?
55: Favorite type of fruit pie?
56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
57: Do you believe in ghosts?
58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
59: Take a vitamin daily?
60: Wear slippers?
61: Wear a bath robe?
62: What do you wear to bed?
63: First concert?
64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
65: Nike or Adidas?
66: Cheetos Or Fritos?
67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
69: Ever take dance lessons?
70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
71: Can you curl your tongue?
72: Ever won a spelling bee?
73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
74: Own any record albums?
75: Own a record player?
76: Regularly burn incense?
77: Ever been in love?
78: Who would you like to see in concert?
79: What was the last concert you saw?
80: Hot tea or cold tea?
81: Tea or coffee?
82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?
83: Can you swim well?
84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
85: Are you patient?
86: DJ or band, at a wedding?
87: Ever won a contest?
88: Ever have plastic surgery?
89: Which are better black or green olives?
90: Can you knit or crochet?
91: Best room for a fireplace?
92: Do you want to get married?
93: If married, how long have you been married?
94: Who was your HS crush?
95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
96: Do you have kids?
97: Do you want kids?
98: Whats your favorite color?
99: Do you miss anyone right now? who?
I'm bored so ask : )
“You should know when I say something that I won`t like later”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Anonymous asked: did you get to 2nd base tonight when the gf was over?????
clientsfromhell:
Client: I saw the press release you published. I don’t like the picture, please change it.
Me: You’re holding today’s newspaper with the article in your hands, right?
Client: What’s your point?
